Independence Day Exodus

The South-Western Railway yesterday announced that it will run two special trains to Gauhati.

This is to accommodate over 5000 people from the north-eastern states fleeing Bangalore / Karnataka after a recent spate of racially motivated attacks and threats.

One can only hope that there is a writer at the other end to record the travails of this Train From India!

To read the news report click here.

Olympic Hockey & Onset of Cynicism

Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 

This post is triggered by today's last page headlines.

The year is 1960. I am in the 11th standard. The headmaster is a graceful gentleman. Stern but kindly. Tough but fair. Well-built but not over-weight. Taller than the other teachers. Handsome in a Balraj Sahni way, only more so.

He turns up just-about-moist eyed at one late-summer morning school meet. "It is a sad day for India", says he, starting his daily address, "our Olympic contingent will return without a medal."

A youngish know-it-all, not me, chirps up, jumping right into the trap, "But Sir, we won the silver in hockey."

"If you leave behind gold, bringing home silver does not count."

The hockey gold is something we have always taken for granted. Much breast-beating follows all over the country. Pundits propound various theories. Pundit Nehru chips in with his two bits worth. Unanimous conclusion: something must be done.

The Punjab government, feeling guilty as the supplier of a majority of hockey players, announces a path-breaking and Olympics-busting plan to encourage sports of all varieties.

All schools are required to have training programmes. Each will cover at least five disciplines of their choice. There will be weekly competitions for individual and monthly ones for team sports at district headquarters .

The first three in each category will get a "collar pin". Three different colours. The school getting the maximum number of pins gets a rotating shield. The school getting the maximum pins over the year gets to keep the shield.

When the first pins adorn school uniform shirt collars of a few of my fellow students, I am happy for them for I know that they have worked hard to earn them. Not having adequate athletic skills to go up against the best, I also feel a little bit sorry for myself.

The turnaround comes very fast. In no time, the better endowed schools have figured out that if you send different, but able, kids every week, you improve your chances of the annual win. The students, or their parents, have figured out that you don't really have to win it; there is a price for every 'pin'.

Within a few weeks, the city is full of coloured pins. Everyone and his brother is wearing one or more pins testifying to their athletic prowess. The scheme collapses.

Snippets
1. We were to win the gold only twice after that. In Tokyo 1964 when we beat Pakistan in sweet revenge for the Rome 1960 loss. And later in Moscow 1980, when no other team of any standing turned up to play.

2. In short order both Pakistan and India were relegated to lower ranks by the white man who "will never learn how to tackle our wily dribblers". Not qualifying for Beijing 2008 was the nadir. Qualifying for London 2012 merited front page banner headlines; seen in a sports context only when India wins a cricket world cup or Maria Sharapova wins or loses anything.

3. The enormity of what had happened in 1960s became clear to me only in the early seventies when I travelled by road around England and Europe one summer. Over a matter of two weeks and hundreds of kilometres I never ever saw a field hockey ground. Or anyone playing it. Every village I passed through had two or more football grounds, though.

4. The year we first lost the hockey gold, I was a member of my school's junior hockey team. The shortest, slightest and the only 11th standard player in the whole district; most were in the 8th or lower. This lead to much resentment and charges of under-reporting of age. My coach did not let me play a single match for fear that the opposition would go after me with intent. My team won the championship. I still have the certificate.

Dara, The Gentle Giant

I am a student. Probably 8th standard. 1958 or so. Ferozepur, Punjab. Come winter, the school is suddenly abuzz with stories about this new inmate, a giant, in the District Central Jail. 

He enjoys a special status not found in the rule book. Is free to move around. Has a special dietary allowance consisting of kilos of milk, meat, and ghee as also dozens of eggs. Goes jogging, for exercise, around the jail compound twice daily with one fellow prisoner cradled in each arm.

We hear new stories everyday. The stories emanate from a classmate, whose father is the Superintendent of the jail. This high security prison is where Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev were kept by the British. The new inmate there is Dara Singh, Rustame-e-Hind, the title named after Rostam, hero of the Persian epic Shahname. 

Although Dara is the proclaimed kushti champion of India, we know that actually he is the world champion. And we know this because the Indian wrestling tour includes a number of foreign white wrestlers. The crowd's favourite whipping boy is the improbably huge Hungarian wrestler King Kong. Many are beaten and sent packing but King Kong is a fixture. 

We know that professional wrestling is not quite real, but we do not care. Dara is not just unbeaten, he is unbeatable. 

Dara is held, we are told, in connection with an incident involving murder. As the tales about his prison stay begin to get taller and taller, some scepticism surfaces and pressure to 'trust but verify' mounts. Our friend arranges a visit one Sunday for a bunch of us.

Bursting with excitement, we land up well before the appointed time at the 20 ft high gates of the jail, where our equally excited friend waits. A seemingly seven-footer guard opens a five-footer door embedded in the gates and we are escorted to the Superintendent's office. He deputes another guard to take us further in and cautions us not to stray far from the guard. 

Another door at the end of a dark corridor opens into a largish open sunlit courtyard. And there is Dara Singh. Seated on a stone platform . Clad in a langot. Getting a vigorous ghee massage from a couple of similarly clad well built blokes. Surrounded by a dozen or so thuggish looking characters. 

Dara looks towards us and smiles. Our friend rushes forward and greets him as one would a favourite uncle. He then proudly introduces us as fans. One by one we all move forward to shake hands. With each introduction our friend grows an inch taller, having earned our everlasting gratitude and friendship. At least for a few days.

Dara has a surprisingly soft grip and delicate shake. To each boy he mumbles something unintelligible. We have never seen anyone so handsome, so well built and so gentle. Dara Singh will never be a bigger hero.

Dara Singh RIP 

Snippets 

• Dara Singh's films basically gave a start to actress Mumtaz's career. His successor as Rustam-e-Hind, younger brother Randhawa married Mumtaz's younger sister Mallika. Randhawa and Mallika were also actors.
• Before there was Dara, there was The Great Gama. Rustam-e-Hind of undivided India. Rustam-e-Zamaan, the world champion. Former Pakistan prime minister Nawaz Sharif's wife Kulsum is a grand daughter of Gama.
• The Hungarian wrestler, Emile Czaja, professional name King Kong, also acted in a Hindi movie, playing himself. He was known outside India as the "Indian Wrestler".
• Dara Singh's first movie as a lead actor, ironically, is the 1962 film titled King Kong.
• I was about to post this when my younger brother's weekly call came in. Just before disconnecting, he says, "Hey, do you remember...

The Unique I.D.Project 2

Click here to start reading Part 1

I meet UIDAI

Aadhaar enrolment started in 2010. There seemed to be no urgency to enlist.

Some months ago, I ran into UIDAI at the local post office. UIDAI occupies a ramshackle desk, in a passageway. It is surprisingly free of any papers and files that one normally expects in a government office in India. It is also free of any electronic hardware.

In person it is a lady equipped with a school notebook and a pen. She is reading a magazine. I enquire about enrolling. She reluctantly puts away her reading, pulls out a form and tells me that if I want more than one I should get photocopies made as she is running out of supplies.

I ask her if I can download the form from the UIDAI website. She says I can but it won't work in Karnataka as the state government has tagged on some questions of local interest. So I should get copies made, fill up the form, attach supporting documents confirming my identity and come for enrolment.

I suggest the following Saturday. "No Sir, you can't pick and choose", she says, "I will allot a date and time as per the running schedule in this diary. It would be better if you can come once before that and show me the papers to make sure that you have everything right. On the specified day you will go to the designated place where they will record your fingerprints and iris image."

I leave knowing I will never go back. If they want it badly enough they will come to me.

Sure enough a few weeks later they set up camp at my club. I go through the process. The fingerprint device is acting funny. It takes ten minutes and a lot of high pressure supplemented by the officer-in-charge pressing with all his might on my hands to complete recording the ten digits.

This was six months ago. I am still waiting for my card.

Tripta Sen enrols
Tripta*, who lives in Delhi, has been luckier.
 
She was among the early birds to turn up to be counted. She got her card within two weeks. Not satisfied, she went to another centre and filed another set of papers with the same information. Soon she got her second card. "This time the photo is good", she says.

And now that she is going in for a new hairstyle, what should I say to Tripta?

* name changed. maybe.

The Unique I.D. Project

This topic has been on my mind for some time. The writing was hastened by an e-mail I got from an NRI friend wanting to know what was this "udi udi thing" that aunt Chitty in Chennai was all excited about. Same day I got a call from good friend Tripta Sen in Delhi, who wanted to know what will happen to her Aadhaar card if she went in for a drastically altered hairstyle.

If you know all about UID click here to go straight to me & Tripta.
Else carry on reading..

What Is It?
The 'unique personal I.D.' project of India, given the vernacular moniker Aadhaar, meaning 'the foundation' or 'the base', is the most ambitious people tagging program ever in the history of mankind.

UIDAI, the unique identity authority, has been set up to create, own and operate a database of all residents.  A unique 12 digit random number is allotted to each individual. His photograph, fingerprints and iris are recorded and an Aadhaar card is issued. Some 170 million cards have already been issued. That is 14% of the population.

No one has explored all the ramifications of such an undertaking. The Government obviously has a lot of good things to say about it.

It will enable focussed delivery of benefits and services to the marginalised and the under-privileged. It has the potential to eliminate the large number of fake and duplicate identities in various benefit lists and even employment rolls. "Financial inclusion" of the have-nots is a phrase much bandied about. 

Not Everyone Likes It
Such verbiage is normally enough to ensure easy passage of mega budget projects through the legislature. Aadhaar, however, has attracted much opposition but has been rammed through without any meaningful discussion on the costs and benefits or of consequences.

Issues like invasion of privacy, surveillance, profiling, potential misuse and  data security have never been adequately discussed or explained.

It is not obligatory to enrol, but those who don't will find life very difficult as a number of benefits, subsidised goods and services will need proof of I.D.

The home ministry which handles internal affairs, one would have thought most in need of such a data base, came out strongly against Aadhaar to start with. They plan their own "National Population Register" to weed out illegal immigrants. Then earlier this year they mysteriously shut up and it was reported that they will cross link their database with Aadhaar.

Eventually, all other lists like voters, tax payers, passports, ration cards, the population register etc will get cross linked to Aadhaar.

Who Runs It
Extremely unusually for India, the Government has roped in a highly respected and successful private sector I.T. technocrat to head the organisation. Some feel he has roped in the government to finance and push through a megalomaniacal venture.

He has the rank of a cabinet minister and is authorised to bypass or cut-through the normal bureaucratic red-tape associated with any governmental creation and/or change. He has put together a crack team to implement and supervise the project. The grunt work of enrolling people has been outsourced to private parties. The home ministry is now a "partner registrar" for certain "sensitive" zones.

The only direct communication from UIDAI to the public has been about the physical process of enrolling. Press lightly to register fingerprints. Don't smile when giving your mug-shot. And the like.

How It Will Work
The Aadhaar database will be accessible from any place in India that has mobile coverage or internet reach.

The Aadhaar card is not a smart card. By itself it has no value, except as a reference tool for your Aadhaar number. What you always carry around, your fingerprints and your iris, will establish your identity. For example, you go to a bank to open an account, or to the polling booth to vote, you present your finger(s) to a machine and there you are.

A hospital should be able to access your entire medical history just by reading your finger prints.

As an itinerant worker you should be able to have your bank account, ration card and health insurance etc. transferred to wherever you choose to go and work in India without getting tied up in paperwork and red tape.

Can the card be duplicated or faked? Easily. But no harm is done. The card by itself accomplishes nothing. The biometric data individually are also not foolproof but taken together you have as good as zero error.

Click here to go to Part 2

Impressions of Calcutta 2

Fifty Years Ago
Click here to start from Part 1

I explore the city travelling by buses and trams with friends. At a few paise per trip, one can go all over town, all day, without spending a rupee. Buses all over India are overloaded, but Calcutta gives the word a new meaning. Remarkably, a female can get into a 40 seater bus carrying 80, be offered a seat, travel in peace and come out of it untouched. In Delhi it would be a miracle to emerge unmolested.

In fullness of time I land in Park Street; virtually a carry-over from colonial days with its continental food restaurants, western bands, crooners and cabarets. There is even a smallish Moulin Rouge with a rotating windmill on its fascia. Most men are in suits or at least ties, and most women in western dress. Calcutta, one finds, is the only Indian city without a hypocritical attitude towards alcohol, entertainment and romance.

The Burra Bazaar with its Marwari dominance is a different city within a city. Here be the chaps who make money and create jobs. One of them, R D Bansal, produces and finances Satyajit Ray films.

The colleges, the book shops and the coffee house of College Street are another fascinating world. The coffee house is a hotbed of student politics increasingly turning left. Marx, Engles, Che and Mao are the heroes here.

Tangra is a sizable Chinatown from where emerge beauticians, excellent shoes and other leather products as also superb banglafied and indified Hakka Chinese food.

Bihar is everywhere in the city. From Rickshaw pullers to coolies to water haulers and herders of butchery-bound live-stock, you name any backbreaking job and there is a Bihari willing to take it.

The city is full of aesthetically pleasing buildings. Most are poorly maintained. The Victoria Memorial will never grow up to be a Taj Mahal, but it is a pleasant place to go to, as are places like Belur Math, Dakshineshwar, Bandel Church and Botanical Garden.

Some of these are also places where urban romance flourishes. There is nothing more romantic than a walk by the lakes, or a slow sail boat across the Ganges, with the light rain and the setting sun conducting the background music playing in one's head.  Young couples have a hard time getting any privacy and head out to a dozen or so lover's lanes just to get away from prying familiar eyes. Like in many Indian cities, the cheapest and best private space is cinema seats in the last row - after the show starts.

Indian Statistical Institute founded by P C Mahalonobis is a nationally and internationally famed place of academic excellence. This is where, for the next six years, I live and learn. Learn to live - neither wisely nor too well, I am afraid. And to love - too well but perhaps not wisely.

It is an idyllic place to study and work. Its vast campus is an eclectic mix of the ancient and the very modern. Fellow students are from all parts of India and a few are from other countries. One learns the ways of 'others'. One learns about local cuisine, music, film, theatre customs and so on. One learns the local language. And Addabaazi.

The ISI faculty harbours many tall intellects of a calibre rarely seen together in any one space. It is the cradle for India's statistical back-bone, giving birth to the Central Statistical Organisation and the National Sample Survey. ISI also plays a large role in shaping the Planning Commission and later the National Informatics Centre.

ISI is where India's first mainframe computer will be installed and the very first post-graduate programme in computer science will be started. In course of time, there will be no academic or professional space on earth involving statistics which will remain untouched by ISI alumni or faculty.

After I left in 1968 I have gone back to Calcutta a few times. Sometimes for business but sometimes also 'just'. To touch favourite places. Or to touch base with favourite people. As I write this I have tried not to update my first impressions and have referred to later events only where they bore a direct relationship to what I observed then.

As I write this Mamata di is the Chief Minister, her Trinamool having displaced the CP(M) after thirty-five odd years. She promises to turn Calcutta into London of the east. And has started out by painting the town blue.

Impressions of Calcutta

Fifty Years Ago

It’s 1962. I arrive at Howrah from small-town Punjab at the ripe old age of fifteen. As a student-select headed to the Indian Statistical Institute, having side-stepped the IIT system which refuses to let me in till I reach sixteen, I feel a foot taller than my five feet few.

Emerging from the railway terminus, the first thing one sees is the Howrah Bridge. One word: majestic. The sprawling and muddy Hooghly underneath is a sharp contrast to the slim, gushing rivers of the Punjab.

The next thing one notices are the clichéd teeming crowds. Most of the men are dhoti-kurta clad: a sartorial effect I have seldom seen in Delhi or Bombay. The kurta is called punjabi; I never find out why. Women, and even teenage girls, are mostly clad in saris. No salwaar-kameez.

Beggars - rarely seen in the Punjab, occasionally in Delhi, and often in Bombay - abound here. Then comes the shock of the inhumane hand-pulled rickshaw; long banished from other states. One is familiar with the concept but the reality is something else. From time to time, the government avows piously to ban the rickshaw and rehabilitate the pullers. No progress so far.

Dr. B C Roy who was the chief minister for 14 years has just died. A towering figure in Bengal politics, his demise paves the way for the decline of the Congress, and the rise of the Communist party.

Though it will be 15 years before the CP(M) gets to power, Jyoti Basu, a relatively young lawyer, is getting noticed in trade union and industry circles. He will eventually become the chief minister, but be denied the opportunity to become the prime minister by his party.

Film is the cheapest and most accessible form of entertainment. In three languages. Hindi films, made in Bombay and Madras rule the roost. A unique-in-India feature of the old style movie theatres, mostly showing English films, is the in-house bar where one can enjoy a glass of beer (or something stronger) before, during or after the show.

Satyajit Ray has already made his mark in Bengal and internationally. His work though is little known elsewhere in India, except to art film clubs. In 1962 Ray makes his first film with Waheeda Rehman. Suddenly people outside Bengal take notice. Later, Bombay will happily absorb some Ray girls like Sharmila Tagore, Jaya Bhaduri and, less successfully,  Aparna Dasgupta.

Many film makers are, or claim to be, influenced by Ray. Others, like Ritwick Ghatak and Mrinal Sen, make excellent films but no one receives the adulation that Ray commands. Many Bengali scientists, academicians and artists have phenomenal accomplishments to their credit and have acquired considerable fame but in bong consciousness Ray is the sole eminence of recent vintage who deserves to be right up there with Kobi Guru and Netaji. To this day. Fifty years on.

Kobi Guru is, was and will forever, be the colossus everyone pays cultural obeisance to. Be it poetry, music, theatre, stories or painting he has left a phenomenal legacy. Your average bong, I discover, is much more into music, poetry and theatre than the denizens of northern and western states. Each household harbours a budding poet, actor, musician or singer or all four.

Music shows and events are aplenty. A harmonium is a standard and low-cost piece of household furniture. Music teachers, poorly paid but highly regarded professionals, are as thick on the ground as tuition teachers elsewhere. Often an avenue of ready romance for their pupils.

There is a wide-spread theatre scene which can only be described as passionate and vibrant. Theatre, however, is an expensive pursuit and is in a state of perennial decline for want of patronage, for production and at the box office.

The sport of choice, and indeed passion, is football. Gully football is all pervasive rather than gully cricket. Almost everyone has a favourite club team. Often a personal preference clashes with that of a sibling or spouse; leading to unending, loud, sometimes ferocious and often hilarious arguments. Chuni Goswami becomes my hero and by transference Mohun Bagan is my team. Chuni leads India to her first and last Asia Cup football title. He plays in the Bengal Ranji Trophy team. He captains the Mohun Bagan hockey team. He will go on to act as the hero in a movie, Prothom Prem. India has never seen a sports person like this.

Durga Puja is a phenomenal festival. The whole city is transformed as its entire cultural ethos comes into play. Puja pandaals come up everywhere in public spaces; throwing an already chaotic traffic into a deeper mess. The goddess emerges gradually taking shape from clay. Many artists work day and night to mould, paint, be-robe and be-jewel her. Loads of food and sweets are made, bought, distributed and consumed. Much shopping for new clothes happens. Gifts are exchanged. Teenagers go a-hunting all over town looking for adventure and meetings with the opposite sex, both planned and per happenstance. Neighbourhood gangs of boys spring up to protect the local girls - nobody asks the girls if they want it. . and everyone has a good time.

Click here to go to Part 2

Revisiting the Electric Car

I started this post six months ago but did not know how to conclude it. 
Then today the Economic Times published an interview with the iconic venture capitalist and famed green tech guru Vinod Khosla. He has invested billions of dollars in alternative energy companies. More personal wealth committed thus than any other individual in the world.

He expects to be wrong  most of the time in his choice of companies or technologies to back. He also hopes to make up for it by succeeding wildly with one or two blockbusters. So right or wrong in his choices, he has to keep track of the alternative technology train.
But we will get to Vinod Khosla and his link to this post in a moment. 
I posted The Electric Car Humbug in May 2009. Since then the two companies I wrote about have changed a bit:

• TESLA is in talks to tie up with Toyota, which has faced a public relations disaster in recent years involving recall of many models including the hybrid Prius. Meanwhile, Tesla has stopped booking orders for its only production model, the $100,000, Li-Ion battery powered Roadster.

• REVA was sold to Mahindra & Mahindra the Indian tractor, commercial vehicle and low-end SUV maker. Reva became a low cost image upgrade exercise for them. Soon after the take over, with big industrial house clout, Reva got a government subsidy  of 25%. Since then no new products have been launched to augment the $6,000, Lead-acid powered REVA-i.

Other car makers, notably Nissan with Leaf and Mitsubishi with i-MiEV, have made some progress. World-wide sales are, however, still in five figures and there  is no game-changer in sight.
The big change is that all electric car development is now in the hands of major car makers. These guys have the most invested in internal combustion technology. And the most to lose if electric cars succeed. 
I keep track of developments in green tech space but obviously do not have the resources to track everything.

Along comes Mr Khosla and in his interview, already widely quoted elsewhere, he has this to say:

Quote
Electric cars are toys. They're for rich San Franciscans and rich Germans. They don't make sense for normal people. They're too expensive. What is important is cheap cars. If you add $10,000 worth of batteries to a car, it's silly. But that's what every electric car does, and environmentalists keep pushing it. 
One of the fundamental problems is environmentalists keep pushing solutions to the press, such as solar cells and electric cars that make no economic sense. They defy the laws of economic gravity. 
I keep saying we need to produce products at the 'Chindia' price--the price at which people in India and China will buy it--without subsidies. You can't subsidise energy on a large scale. It would bankrupt any government. Every government that did that would end up like Greece. 
Unquote 

Reading this interview I realised that I have a draft sitting in the blogger and decided to post it.
 
Update December 2020: Worldwide, there's still no decent electric option under $ 25,000. That would be roughly Rs. 20 lakhs before import duties in India. Even in richer countries the adoption pace is glacial. In fact, thanks to climate change, glaciers are moving faster.

Reva sales in the meantime tapered off to zero after years of three digit stagnation.

TESLA talks with Toyota broke off because TOYOTA wasn’t convinced that all-electric was the way forward. They declared increased commitment to hybrid cars!

Update February 2023 TESLA is going strong, but there’s still no under $25,000 option to IC cars with comparable lifetime costs and equal range! 

TOYOTA continues to plough a lonely furrow for hybrid cars. The Chinese EV car makers have emerged major players but I don’t know enough about their products and their game plan, other than the fact that they now control some 80% of battery production.

Issues with battery raw materials, battery manufacturing as also with used battery disposal remain basically unchanged.

Issues with electricity needed to charge the EVs remain generally unchanged!

Nuclear Business Opportunity

Yesterday was the 25th Anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster.

Russia, which owned the plant, marked the event by calling for "Stricter Nuclear Safety Rules".

Ukraine, which actually ended up holding the Chernobyl baby, said it still needs to mobilise $300 million to bury the mess.

Belarus, Russia & Ukraine, which together hosted most of the 600,000 people exposed to high levels of radiation, have, in recent years, significantly reduced the benefits they were paying the sufferers. Belarus banned a traditional annual protest march in Minsk and relegated a planned evening rally to the outskirts.

The European Union, announced a relief package of $156 million.

The United States, till yesterday stuck between Obama's birth and Osama's life, did not make a big ado about the anniversary.

Japan, as always, politely asked to be excused. 

The United Nations: Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon, after a recent visit to to Chernobyl, came out with recommendations for the future. These mainly revolve around the flexi-words: review, study, tighten, analyse and the like. He also informs us that, 25 years on, a fresh safety shield is in the process of being installed around the blown reactor. Better late than never.

India, which was a Gandhian bystander and saw nothing, heard nothing and said nothing when it happened, marked the silver anniversary by declaring its commitment to accelerated development of new nuclear power capacity.

At a high level meeting the Prime Minister gave the go ahead for the Jaitapur nuclear power project in the western state of Maharashtra. (Not very far from Koyna Nagar, the site of a major earthquake in 1967). When ready, it will be the largest nuclear power complex anywhere in the world.

Per the official fact sheet, it is the best thing that ever happened.

India Takes Precautions

The high level committee which gave the go-ahead to the Jaitapur plant, was briefed by The Secretary, Department of Atomic Energy, a leading bureaucrat, whose minions planned the project; and by the CEO of the Nuclear Power Corporation of India, a leading technocrat of the Government of India, who will implement the project.

The Prime Minister announced that

1. a super regulatory authority will be formed to regulate nuclear disasters,
2. the protesting residents of Jaitapur have been told that they are totally safe, and
3. in any case, a generous compensation package is being formulated. Just in case.

Left unstated was the obvious fact that there was no need to hear any dissenting voices or anyone who might actually know something about nuclear safety.

Classified Information

While it is well known that India is quickly tying up massive uranium supplies dirt cheap from Ukraine to feed its rising nuclear appetite, it is also learnt from highly reliable sources that:

1. India is setting up a Nuclear Safety Consulting Corporation and a Nuclear Disaster Management Corporation, both to be chaired by Suresh Kalmadi,  who has been whisked off to Tihar jail in Delhi. Ensconced in the famous jail, away from prying media, Mr. Kalmadi, along with his co-chair, A Raja, the former Telecom Minister, assisted by top managers of various Indian companies already lodged there, will work out business plans for the two new ventures.
2. The Human Resources ministry is working with various countries across the globe to determine their requirements of radio-active human beings. The radio-active body shopping business alone is expected to take India to the ranks of G5. Far out-shining the software body-shops we have set up over the last three decades.

For the first time this ancient civilisation has managed to get into a win-win situation.

• If our plants are indeed safer than safe, the Safety Consulting Corporation will rake it in.

• If, on the other hand,  they are not, we will have a head start on Disaster Management. Apart from expert advice, every country will need people willing to go in to disaster sites for damage control. What better than ready-made radio-active people? Of which we will have millions!

Next The Kundakulam Saga 
First The Nuclear Mess